Review

Kenny G
The Essential Kenny G
(0 stars)

Weighing in at about 100 grams and measuring a solid 14.75cm x 12.5cm, Kenny G’s new album has several physical properties to recommend it (that is, if you manage to get the overly tight laminated paper sleeve off). But once you do, you find a pretty standard (but pretty clean) jewel case housing a foldout insert containing two compact discs, one red and one white. Both sturdy discs are manufactured locally and can withstand physical force of 14 newtons before warping (the red disc snapped at 16 newtons). Dependable discs like these lend themselves to a variety of functions: they can be used as bookmarks, stacked on top of each other to even out a lopsided table, and even, in a pinch used to blind an approaching bear by reflecting a disorientating beam of sunlight. The white disc also serves well as a makeshift plate (though it stains easily, especially from the hot sauce on kebabs). The record also boasts both front and back liner notes (which are unfortunately marred with a picture of a curly-haired retarded man holding a small, elaborate horn). Though “the Essential Kenny G” is a solid object, it’s nothing new. And most other discs on the market are also playable, many with actual music. – ZH

Sounds like: Shit